Reach Out And Touch Microsoft

Disclaimer: While I have done extensive coding for Windows machines (Visual Basic, ASP.NET, and Prolog AI language), I have personally used a Macintosh since 1986.


In July, Microsoft announced that it is building retail stores around the world, starting with Scottsdale, AZ and Mission Viejo, CA, which will be opening this fall. The behemoth from Redmond has stated that it will build stores close to Apple, and will incorporate such features as a Mac-like "Genius Bar" to provide expert support and advice. Which begs the question, will they provide video entertainment while you wait in line ala Disney World, or will they just let you fume and vent with your fellow travelers?

Unlike Apple, Microsoft doesn't produce its own platform, so how will they distribute table space to computer manufacturers? Strictly high bidder or will other "backroom" negotiations determine who gets to showcase their hardware running a crappy OS like Vista? And I defy anyone at a Microsoft store to demonstrate all 1500 features of Word! Of course, they could always get on the phone to tech support in India, if you don't mind the wait.

Is Microsoft ready for developers to show up in their stores, asking arcane questions about Visual Studio? The Microsoft Developers Network website is about as easy to navigate as a super-monster WalMart on Black Friday, and MS computer geeks are known to be confrontational heavyweights. Who can blame them - they are a product of their environment, just like inner-city crack dealers. Maybe that's why Microsoft calls their customers "users?"

Are they prepared for an Apple guerrilla marketing campaign? Because many of the stores will be in high-traffic malls, I would have a person sitting on a bench in front of the MS storefront, playing with her 17" MacBook Pro running the new Snow Leopard OS (7GB lighter and much, much faster than Leopard) and showing off some real whiz-bang applications. Then, I would have another person enjoying their iPod and another watching a WiFi-connected AppleTV on a portable video screen. The visuals should be antipodal - clean, fresh, and happy models cavorting with their Apple products compared with the depressed, irate, and hunched-over Microsofties trudging into the store as an endless stream with a litany of complaints.

Is a retail strategy a mistake for Microsoft? Even though they frame this push into the retail space as a challenge to Apple, that's a smokescreen. They're grasping at straws because Google is challenging them on all fronts: search, browser, applications, email, operating system, and development environment. All Google has to do is use a fraction of their $25 billion in cash and put up kiosks near MS stores with the sign "FREE SOFTWARE THAT WORKS."